But leaders and managers are skills that effective leaders need in order for organizations are to be successful. They are not positions which are what I was lead to believe for a very long time. I have been in management before, but never knew that certain leadership skills are needed in order for me to be a better manager and leader at the same time. After taking this class, I am now able to make a clear distinction between the two, and I know that I have more management skills than leadership skills. The one thing or concept that I learned about was my core personality.
I didn’t think or know that my core personality would define who we are or that it would be practically formed by the time we are managers. Also, I learned that the shadows of our core personality can hurt or even derail you as you are moving up the corporate ladder. Being able to control those shadows, as well as, your behavior in certain situations is the key too. Not to mention, being that I lack emotional control and I have a low emotional quotient (CEQ), I learned that if I don’t work on that and the Formal Practice of Situational Leadership I will not get far in my career.
What have I learned about my core personality this semester? As I mentioned before, I knew the general differences between leaders and managers, but didn’t see how the two were co-dependent on each other. Not to mention, they are inter related and that effective leaders will have use both of these skills in order to influence others to do their Jobs effectively. As we started this semester, I had no clue what my core personality was or that it was formed while I was a teenager.
I knew that other people, especially my parents, would be the biggest influence on me and who I am today. Also, the one thing that I learned about my core personality was knowing what it is, understanding what it means, and accepting it. Furthermore, the hardest part for me now is controlling my shadows and being able to use the Formal Practice of Situational Leadership. The one thing that was stressed in our class was the Modified Big 5 Personality Profile, which is the framework for more effective leadership.
This particular document helped us understand what makes up our core personality, the common shadows, and the important CEQ precursors that would eventually help us become effective leaders in the future. This document was basically our “bible”, and it was something that we had to refer too on a daily basis. We talked about it in several PVC sessions, used it in several case studies that we did on a weekly basis, and in several weekly discussion boards.
The “Big 5” personality traits are: surgeons, agreeableness (relationship oriented), conscientiousness, openness to change, and emotional quotient (CEQ). Furthermore, once you able to manage the shadows of the “Big 5” and the precursors to CEQ, then you will be able to do the Formal Practice of Situational Leadership. The “Super Two” are the two most important traits in the class framework model. They are the exact opposite of each other, and an individual has to be either high in one trait and low in the other.
For example currency: I Common Strengths I I Task/results oriented I I Take-charge attitude Competitive I Common Shadows I Insensitive and/or abrasive I overbearing Inn-lose mentality For example agreeableness (relationship oriented): I I Relationship-oriented I Soft natured I Collaborative results I I Overly-sensitive I Excessively avoids hurting other’s feelings I Difficult making tough decisions and getting The other three traits: conscientiousness, openness to changes, and CEQ are equally important to your core personality as well. For example conscientiousness: I I Stick-to it-news/persistence
I I Organized and prepared I Reliable and dependable For example openness to change: I I Open to new ideas I Loneliness to experiment I Risk taker I Work/relaxation imbalance I Over-controlling/micromanage I Perfectionist/self-serving I Changes Just for the sake of change I Difficulty completing things started I Takes unwise risks Now when we talk about emotional quotient, CEQ, that is something that requires a lot more attention and detail. There are two parts to CEQ, the precursors (self- awareness, self-management, and social awareness), and the second part which is the actual Practice of Formal Situational Leadership.
CEQ doesn’t have any shadows, but it is a way that an individual can better manage the shadows of the four other like this: Self-awareness – includes self-acceptance, self-confidence, and accurately doing a self-assessment. Self-management – includes emotional control, facing adversity, integrity, internal locus of control, mature thinking skills, a positive outlook, and being self-motivated. Social awareness – includes the ability to empathic, awareness of other’s personality, and appreciation/respect for different personalities.
All of these precursors have to be in place and managed well in order to for an individual to be able to practice situational leadership. Not only that, but you have the right mindset and be able to control your behavior when dealing with certain people in different situations. If you are not able to do that, than you likely facing some type of derailment on a professional level, as well as, on a personal one as well. The Formal Practice of Situational Leadership is extremely important and is something that I learned I will have to know and use in order for me to be an effective leader in the future.
Not to mention, I know I will have to minimize my shadows in order for me to effectively get the most out of my relationships when dealing with others. There are seven (7) steps to this process and they are: 1) Being aware of internal emotional cues and acknowledge them so that your emotions do not get out control. 2) Being able to calm yourself quickly as well as being able to really “let go’. 3) Being able to recognize your own applicable low precursors, shadows and low traits. ) Being able to accurately profile others’ personalities and empathic with them, 5) Completing an objective evaluation of the situational factors and the characteristics of the people involved using a FORMAL model. ) Being able to pick and use the best overall style and specific tactics; and 7) Reflecting and/or Journaling on what went well and what did not, including which steps above were accomplished and which were not and why. Also, all of these steps are important when it comes to contingency leadership and some people will never be able to reach their full potential as leader because of their lack of situational leadership skills.
Furthermore, but an effective leader has to use the contingency leadership model. As far as my own core personality, prior to this class I had no idea what was. I new I had several key strengths that I would label me as someone who would be considered a surgeon. But I never paid any attention to the shadows or even knew what the shadows of someone having a surgeon personality until now. But my core personality profile is as follows: Currency: Average high Agreeableness (relationship oriented): Low Conscientiousness: High Openness to change: Average High CEQ: LOW Practice of Situational Leadership: Low (1. ) I displayed a lot of the shadows of some who has a surgeon personality, but I tried to deny that fact when I took this class. But the more I learned and read about someone ho has a surgeon personality, and doing the Insight Exercises, it was clear to me that I have an average high surgeon personality. I have that competing attitude towards everything, and I am very task/detailed oriented when it comes to my Job. The two biggest shadows of my personality that I have always admitted to were: abrasiveness and insensitive. I have been that way for a long time, and Just recently have tried to change that about myself.
As far as agreeableness, I don’t like to work with others and don’t like to depend on no one and that is something that I know I need to change as I plan on moving into a ore leadership roles. Conscientiousness and openness to change is something that I have always embraced and knew that part of my personality to be true. I am quick to make a change in my career or in my personal life for something that would benefit me and my family. Also, when it comes to CEQ, I know I lack emotional control, mainly because I have a quick temper and I am learning how to control it and the people who I am dealing with.
Furthermore, the one thing I learned from this class is being able to adjust my behavior based on the situation and the people who are involved. How did I become the person I am at the core level? This is actually an easy question to answer because I was heavily influenced by my parents and they are still a big part of my life today. My parents are from the South, raised up North in Pennsylvania, but were raised “southern style”. They demanded respect for them and elders, and we had to say yes and no ma’am, and yes sir and no sir all the time.
That concept was very uncommon to our friends because they felt like it was unusual, but we knew it was the highest form of respect that a child could show an adult. They were very traditional and we very strict when it came to disciplining their kids. We were raised in the projects and neither one of my parents ever went to college but they wanted us to be have more than what we grew up with. They also instilled in us to be the best at everything that we wanted to be and to go after it. Their attitude was nothing was too small or too big for us to overcome and reach our full potential and therefore chase our dreams.
My dad was the head of the household and had the final say in all matters in the house. My dad didn’t have any kind of formal education, but he could read and write, and eventually got his GEED when he as almost 40 years old. He worked for the Johnstown Incline Plane as a conductor and took a lot of pride in that Job. My mother on the other hand, was a very smart young lady but her bad attitude and her behavior got her in a lot of trouble. She messed around in school and didn’t like the fact that her parents sent her to an all-white school and eventually flunked out of school.
She eventually went back to night school and got her GEED. She worked for the local electric company, but quit her Job so she can stay at home with us until we were in our early teenage years. She went back to work and found a Job at Sears as a monitor, but transferred to the hardware department, where she worked until she retired in 2007 because of her illness. But there was a time when my parents’ relationship wasn’t too good and we didn’t know if we were going to survive as a cohesive family unit. My dad used to drink and hang out with his friends a lot in the local bars.
He would come home drunk and be very abrasive and belligerent to my mom and us kids. It was so bad that my dad started beating on my mom. On several occasions she would go and stay with her friends in the neighborhood, and eventually left him for 3 months and moved to Washington, DC with her best friend. My dad took care of us during that time, he tried to be nice to us and make us think that everything was k, but deep down inside we knew something was wrong. During that time he was very demanding of us when it came to doing our chores and we had to do them a certain way, and if not then we got hit with the belt.
When it came to our school work, his tolerance was even lower because he couldn’t help us like we needed, but he expected us to still keep our grades up. He didn’t want us to use the excuse that our mom was in the home if our grades slipped. He still expected us to keep our grades up, and that is part of the season why I changed my grades a lot during that time. As a young child my parents knew they had really smart kids and pushed us to get really good grades in school. Since my mom was a lot smarter than my dad, she would be the one who worked/helped us with our homework.
My mom would sit at the table with us and help us study, spell out words; we had a dictionary and a study habits. My dad would sit in the living room and Just monitor us and to make sure we stayed on task with our homework. We were not allowed to go outside and play with our friends, watch TV, or play with our toys until all of our homework was one. As we got older, that didn’t bother us, because we knew what was expected of us and we knew what had to be done in order to have time for ourselves and to hang with our friends. Since good grades were mandatory we worked extra hard to get them and to please our parents.
I can remember on several occasions not doing well in school and was visibly upset because another student got a better grade than me. My competitive nature was so high that I was even willing to cheat on my homework, quizzes, and/or tests Just to make sure I had the highest grade in the class. The edgiest problem with that is when I got caught (and I did on several occasions) my parents either got a phone call or a letter was sent in the mail to them regarding my actions. I stayed in trouble for my actions and at that time I didn’t care because my attitude was Just that bad.
But as I got older and was making my way thru high school, I knew that kind of behavior wouldn’t be tolerated. I knew I wouldn’t make it in college doing that because I would be faced with stiffer penalties doing things like that. So I knew when I got to 12th grade, I knew I had to change my way of thinking and do things the right way when it came to my grades. As we got older my parents encouraged us to play sports and I being the wild child out of the three kids, decided to do that. It was apparent that my parents loved the fact that I decided to play basketball and enjoyed coming to my basketball games.
I played on the youth league for young teenagers and my team was not a good team. Out of seven of us, only three of the girls were any good. We lost all of our games except for two. That is when I realized I was competitive because after every game we lost I cried my eyes out. I hated the fact that we were losing and when my team played, I didn’t share the ball with my teammates. I was trying to win basketball games by myself. My teammates would call me a ball hog and said I was selfish. Also, I didn’t care, I wanted to win, and was willing to do it by any means necessary.
Furthermore, I noticed that since I didn’t have faith in my team, my team player skills were poor which is part of the reason why my collaboration skills are low now that I am an adult. My parents noticed my behavior and after every game that we lost and I didn’t share the ball with my teammates, my dad would yell at me. I would cry even more because my dad was embarrassing me in front of other people. Not to mention, I member one time telling him that he always told us “to play to win”. So I told him that I thought he meant that no matter what we are playing we should always come out on top.
My dad told me that is what he meant, but sometimes when you playing a team sport, you have to include your teammates. He told me whenever I am playing a game or sport that is for me, than I would have to work harder because I am relying on myself and my ability and no one else. Came from my parents, especially my dad. Growing up me and my dad didn’t have the best relationship and it showed. We would get into a lot of arguments and he always ended up winning because he would threaten to whoop me if I didn’t shut up. But I look Just like my dad, but acted like my mother in the behavior department.
I have her “l don’t care attitude”, but I am always smiling, which is something she did a lot of. Also, now that I am writing this plan and reflecting on my younger years, I can see how I am a lot like me dad. I didn’t want to see it that way, but I have no choice and have to accept it for what it is. Also, as an older and mature adult, I can see where my parents influence on me has affected me in so many ways personally and referentially. My parents were married 40 years before my mother lost her battle to cancer in November of 2009.
There isn’t a day that I don’t think about my mother, but now I lean heavily on my dad for support. Our relationship has changed a lot over the last 3 years, and now we have a mutual understanding and respect for each other. We can talk about anything and everything and he can respect my opinion and I can respect his. We don’t argue about silly things because we realize life is too short, and we can be here today and gone tomorrow. But I tell my dad all the time, that even though he eased us hard and strict, I am thankful of that because it help shape and make me the woman I am today.
Commitment from within for the next 2-3 years There are several things that I am willing and able to do that will allow me to become an effective leader and also help me put permanent mirrors in place. Not to mention, once I am able to do that, than I can finally work on the Formal Practice of Situational Leadership. A. Macro Level There are several things that I plan doing as my commitment to practicing formal contingency leadership. First, I will refer back to the class framework and work on outing up permanent mirrors to the shadows of the 5 traits.
Also, I will work on my CEQ, especially emotional control because I am truly lacking in that area. Second, I will be Journaling several times a week Just to reflect on the different behaviors that I deployed when dealing others in any given situation. This gives me that time to reflect on what I did, what I could have done differently, or what I should have done in the first place. Third, I will be using this PLED as a guide for how I should be dealing with others, and if I need to make any adjustments to the plan, I will do it at that time.
Lastly, even though I haven’t asked him yet, I plan on working with Dry. Broom because I know that he has the experience in leadership and would be a greet mentor/ what I want to hear. B. Specific Leadership Skills The two leadership skills that I need to work on are: active listening and leading teams. These two skills are the hardest ones for me because of my surgeon personality style. I am used to being in charge and everyone doing what I say, and I am not used to getting any input from others. When it comes to active listening, I am going to have to learn when to shut up and let others speak their mind.
Also, I know hat I don’t have all the answers, and getting quality input from others may be the best thing for me to do in order to make good business decisions. Furthermore, letting others speak their mind may be a good thing because some great ideas may come from someone else, it doesn’t always have to come from me. Second, leading teams is another problem area for me because I am not good at working with others or standing back and letting other people do the Job themselves. I am used to doing the work by myself and not depending on others. I have a take control type of attitude and don’t like to sit back and let others do the work.
I have to learn to let my subordinates come to me for help and give advice when needed, instead of trying to take over. They have a specific Job to do and I have to remember that, because I will have my own tasks to do. If I continue to take over the team, then my tasks wont get done and then my boss will be looking at me in a different way and think I am not responsible. Practice Situational Leadership 1 . Commitment I am truly committed to this plan because currently I have a lot of management skills, but in order to move into leadership roles, I will have to work on my shadows and putting up permanent mirrors.
Not to mention, being able to effectively practice contingency leadership is my ultimate goal. 2. Moments of Truth The four themes that I learned that I need to manage are: emotional control, collaboration, abrasiveness, over bearing. I am willing to do the following steps to handle these shadows and/or resources to be able to practice formal contingency leadership. 1. Emotional control: a. Situation: I am getting my students ready for the final exam and then I catch several of them cheating on the exam itself. And say some pretty mean things to him. C. Steps to avoid this from happening: . Be aware of my emotional cues 2.