At last, when these IFS stay behind, the child can enjoy n extensive family with a possible total of 8 grandparents and an unexpected number of step siblings. This can be enjoyable, but often isn’t 2/ ILLNESS – A long term serious medical problem one of the family member means many unplanned family structure changes. E. G. A mother of three has to stay a few days at the hospital and after coming home she is unable to walk for longer time. The rest of family has to share hers duties and they also have to care for her. The children have to learn how to do a wide range of household duties which they can think of as being unfair.
They may feel taken unawares, angry or sad but finally they can reach a new kind of appreciation and maturity, which could benefit them later in life. Moving to the new country looks like a good adventure. Everybody thinks of it as a new opportunity to learn a new language and discover a different culture. In the end it is like that. The children finally start to be more confident, open minded and assertive – truly international. But this transition is also very painful, even it problems represent only temporary complications.
The communication disorder is the first and most remarkable problem. It brings strong anxiety, feelings of exclusion and the children could react in a very different way – anger, sadness, aggression, distancing themselves from others… Leaving the wider family circle can cause homesickness which is in many cases suppressed and can start certain medical or mental health troubles. But especially the children are very flexible living things; they absorb news quickly and easily. This time around it’s true – What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.