There are three main goals about my listening behavior that I want to improve this semester. First is to listen for and understand my speaker’s feelings, second is to check for understanding of their intentions, and third is to accurately read their feelings from their body language or tone of voice. The reasons I built these three goals are below. First is because sometimes I cannot connect with someone’s feelings even though I really pay attention to listening to what they say. I guess the main reason is my lack of English skill. My English ability is not enough for understanding their real intention yet.
Therefore, the solution to this problem is to get used to listening and speaking English, and to listen to their speech more earnestly. Second is because I am always afraid of checking for understanding even if I am not sure of what is said. This is because if they know my interpretation is not right, they could have some negative images of me, such as “he cannot understand my feelings” or “It is going to be better choice to ask other person about this problem. ” Actually, most people who have stress or a problem Just need a listener who understands the person, because the person who resolves the problem is ultimately him or herself.
The listener cannot do anything for them except to give advice. However, it depends on the individual and the situation. Therefore, I really would like to lose my habit of hesitating in order to check for my own understanding. Then, my listening skills would get much better. The last one is because It Is difficult to understand what they really want to say only verbally. Sometimes, they do not tell me their real feelings by words because of their hesitation. If that Is so, how can I understand their feelings? I thought the hints are hidden In their subconscious things such as body language, face expression, tone of voice, and so forth.
Understanding the speaker’s feeling without any words will give them a great Impression of me, “He (She) understands me! ” Honestly, I am already good at the other listening skills because I have ever studied about listening behavior by myself with a book titled How to Win Friends ; Influence People by Dale Carnegie, although those my skills may not enough. I learned listening Is as Important as speaking In many cases (In some cases, listening can be the most Important thing. ) That Is why I am always careful of their attitudes, verbal or nonverbal feedback, the tone of the voice, and so forth.
